The Absent Minded
Professor.
When they returned home from
a party the absent minded professor said to his wife, " You always tell
me that I am very forgetful. Look this time I have not forgotten to bring
back our umbrellas. Here is yours."
Giving a surprised look his
wife replied, "This one is not mine. In fact we had not taken any umbrella
to the party!"
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As his car had developed
a fault the Professor decided to take a brisk walk to the college.
Immersed in his thoughts he was walking hurriedly when heard a woman's
voice "Watch out" but he bumped into something.
Raising his hand he picked
his hat and bowed " I apologize Madam".
The woman behind him giggled.
"The cow won't understand that".
To his embarrassment the Professor
looked at the cow that had collided with him. Without saying another word
he started to walk again. After few minutes he bumped into a woman but
not realizing what had happened he
muttered to himself.
"What is wrong with this town?
Why so many cows are on the road?"
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A young woman went to her
doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me,
I hurt all over", said the
woman.
"What do you mean, all
over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right
knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow that hurts."
Then she touched her left
cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right
earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her
thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken
finger."
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A philanthropist was taken
on a tour of an insane asylum by its
Administrator. Pointing to
a youngman he said. "This young man is with
us for the last three
years. His girlfriend had ditched him and married
a rich man." The philanthropist
nodded sympathetically.
When they reached another
cell, the administrator pointed to another
man and said."This man
is with us for almost two and half years. He is
the man who had married
the girlfriend of the first patient."
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A worried and exasperated
patient was complaining to the psychiatrist.
"Doctor, I am losing
my memory. I can't even remember my wife's name.
Can't remember where
I live. Can't remember where I work. The woman who brought me here
says she is my wife but I can't remember marrying her."
"Ok. Just calm down.
How long have you been like this?"
"Like what?"
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