Old Man and His Young Bride 

An 79 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor casually asked... "how are you feeling?"

Old man: I've never been better! He boasted. I've got my  19 year old bride pregnant... what do you think about that, doc?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter and never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his hunting gun and.......while he was in the woods, a grizzly bear suddenly appeared in front of him! He raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle--and do you know what 
happened?

Old man: Dumbfounded, and replied "I have no idea".

Doctor: Well, the bear dropped dead in front of him!

Old man: That's impossible! Someone else must have shot it.

That's kind of what, I'm getting at... replied the doctor.
 
 

Extremely organized

My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized. Before she leaves on a trip, she always types up address labels for her postcards. 

This time, I figured I'd done her one better. I boasted, "You'll be impressed. I've already written thank-you notes to everyone with whom I'll be staying. They're all stamped and ready to go."

My sister was silent for a moment, and then she said, "You mean those little envelopes I saw in your room and mailed this morning?"

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