I'd done a lot of walking in
the last two days and my feet hurt. Of course, I didn't like it. It's obviously
a sign I'm getting old. It's a bad thing. "But maybe it's good," I said
to myself, "in fact, maybe it's perfect. Maybe it's strengthening the bones
in my feet and when I'm old I'll be able to walk a lot longer."
I don't know how it'll turn out.
But since sore feet cause pain, I was
automatically against it. But
if I knew the pain was doing something good, I would feel different about
it. It wouldn't be so bad.
We don't know what the future
holds. It is always a possibility that the thing you hate so much right
now is something you'll be happy for later. You don't know. Therefore
it is counterproductive to ever pass a negative judgement on anything that
happens to you.
It's counterproductive for several
reasons:
First of all, you don't really
know if it will turn out in your favor, so passing a negative judgement
is putting confidence in an unprovable and possibly false guess. And that,
of course, is not straight thinking.
Second, it puts you in a bad
mood to pass a negative judgement like that and bad moods are bad for your
health, bad for your relationships, and no fun.
Third, according to research
at Cornell University, our minds find it easier to confirm a judgment than
to disconfirm it. When you conclude something is bad, your judgment will
alter the way you perceive your life in a way that confirms your conclusion.
The good news is, when you judge something as good, your mind works to
confirm that judgement also. When you decide "maybe this is something good
in disguise," you release the creativity in your brain to find ways it's
good-not only thinking of new ways to look at the situation,
but thinking of ideas you can
put into action that will make lemonade out of this lemon. When you conclude
it's bad, you slam the door on those ways, and they become unavailable
to you.
When something happens -- anything
-- before you pass judgment, consider this: It may be good.
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Excerpted from Adam Khan's
book, Self-Help Stuff That Works, a collection of powerful principles to
help you accomplish more in your life and feel better doing it. Check out
reviews and a sample chapter at
<http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0962465674/lighthousesound>
Write to Adam at mailto:adamkhan@aol.com
